Pretty Baby

April 11, 2022
In this penetrating debut, professor and former dominatrix Belcher dissects the tensions between sexuality and shame. She traces her relationship with sex, beginning with her adolescence in 1990s Appalachia, where, she writes, “I was masturbating to the alcoholic coach” in A League of Their Own. To Belcher, losing one’s virginity (a mission she completed at age 16) was just another way to vie for power. While lies laid the foundation for her high school days, it wasn’t until she discovered she was hiding behind them—the cheerleading uniform, the sex with boys—that she encountered her true self: a queer young woman who yearned for closeness. As she took ownership of her identity, Belcher formed relationships that would prove pivotal, including a romance with Catherine, a professional dominatrix she met as a broke PhD student in L.A. As she recounts her own foray into pro domme work, she balances the raw and shocking—“I fed dog food... to a man who pouted and begged for more”—with incisive takes on the economics of sex work (“Everyone wants whores to stop whoring, but when they do, they can’t get hired at Starbucks”) and the freedom she found in it. The result is an illuminating personal look at the power and politics of sex.